Yes, No, Maybe for Couples: A Gentle Way to Find Shared Wishes
Saying “I'd like…” can be hard, even with someone close. A yes/no/maybe list is built so that only the things you both want get said out loud.
- Examples: 15 cards
- Answers: Yes · Let's talk · Not now
- A game: 5–10 minutes
Example
Get a short note about what you like in me
Dance together to one song
The other player only sees the cards you both marked “Yes.”
How it works
You take the same list of small wishes. Separately, you each answer every one: yes, no, or maybe (in the game: Yes, Not now and Let's talk). Then you compare — and talk only about the ones you both said yes to.
The whole point is answering on your own. Nobody adjusts to the other person, and nobody has to agree to anything.
Interest isn't consent
A “yes” on the list means “I'm interested.” It isn't a promise to do something tonight, or ever. Consent is a separate “let's” in a specific moment, and it can be taken back.
“Maybe” is a full answer too: I'd need to know more, or the conditions matter. And a “no” or a “not now” never needs explaining.
Eight cards about attention
Simple things people rarely ask for out loud.
Get a “thinking of you” text in the middle of the day
Works whether you live together or see each other once a month.
Spend an evening with no phones
If it matches, pick the day right away — otherwise the card stays a card.
Get a hug for no reason at all
A simple card. No need to overthink the answer.
Hear what you appreciate about me
Awkward to ask for out loud. Easy on a card.
Cook something simple together
It's about time together, not cooking: sandwiches count.
Be listened to — no advice needed
A handy one: after this, on a hard day you can just ask, “Listening or advice?”
Hear “thank you” for a little thing that usually goes unnoticed
You'll also find out which little things each of you quietly does.
Take a short evening walk together
Fifteen minutes around the block is plenty.
Seven cards about romance
A little braver — and still nothing you couldn't suggest over dinner.
Dance together to one song
In the kitchen, for no reason. Take turns picking the song.
Get a handwritten letter
It can be short. What matters is that someone held it.
Go on a date like the very first ones
Remember where you went and what you talked about — and repeat one detail.
Look at the stars with nowhere to be
A balcony works. The second half of the card is the important part.
Come up with a word or a signal that's just ours
A small secret for two that comes in handy in a noisy room.
Kiss for a long time, with no rush
A bolder card. In the game, these only appear once you've both agreed to them.
Fall asleep in each other's arms
Closeness without hurry.
An example: what you see at the end
Sam answers
Out of ten cards, Sam marks Yes on five, Let's talk on three, and Not now on two.
Robin answers
Robin marks Yes on four cards, skips two, and marks the rest Not now.
What they both see
Three cards where they both said Yes: an evening with no phones, a dance to one song, and a date like the very first ones. Nothing else.
What stays private
Sam never learns which cards Robin skipped. Robin doesn't see where Sam said Let's talk. They can talk about it — if they both want to.
If nothing matches
It happens, and it says nothing about the two of you: a set has only ten cards, and everyone's in their own mood. The game says so in one sentence and doesn't show who marked what.
What you can do: play again with different cards, or simply ask each other which card you liked best.
How to play long-distance
This format suits long-distance couples especially well: you each answer when you have a minute, and the result shows up for both of you at once. Talk about the matches over text — or save them for when you meet.
Some cards don't mind the distance at all: a midday text, a letter, a shared playlist, a talk late into the night.
The short version
- How is this better than just asking?
- Asking is great when it works. A list helps when starting is the hard part: you don't have to say a wish first and wonder how it'll land.
- What if I'm shy about answering honestly?
- The other player never sees your Not now, your Let's talk, or the cards you skipped. Only what you both marked Yes is revealed. If you marked Yes and a card isn't on the shared list, the other player answered differently — you won't see how.
- Is this a game about sex?
- No. The cards are about attention, romance, and a little about kisses and cuddling. Nothing explicit, and no instructions.
More to explore
- Just Between Us: a wishes game for twoThe link game: ten cards, and only your shared yeses open.
- 30 Would You Rather Questions for Couples: Funny, Personal and Flirty30 Would You Rather questions — if you'd like to start with something light.
- Long-distance games and things to do togetherGames and things to do for long-distance couples.
- Date night at home: plans with a first stepDate ideas for a night in — for when your wishes match.