First Message Examples

First message examples can help you start conversations effectively on dating apps. Your opening message sets the tone for the conversation and can determine whether you get a response.

Understanding Effective First Message Examples

Good dating first message examples share common traits: they're personalized, reference something specific from the person's profile, and invite a response. Generic messages like "hey" or "hi" rarely stand out.

Reference Their Profile

The best first message on a dating app mentions something specific from their profile or photos. This shows you've actually read their information and aren't sending the same message to everyone.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Dating message examples that work often include questions that invite conversation. Instead of yes/no questions, ask about experiences, opinions, or interests that can lead to meaningful exchanges.

Keep It Light and Positive

Your opening message dating approach should be friendly and positive. Avoid being overly serious or making assumptions about the other person. Keep the tone appropriate for an initial conversation.

Dating Message Examples That Work

Here are some approaches that tend to work well:

- Comment on a shared interest mentioned in their profile - Ask about a specific photo or activity shown - Reference something unique they mentioned - Share a light observation or thoughtful question

How to Message on Dating App: Best Practices

Dating conversation starters should feel natural and genuine. Don't overthink it, but do take a moment to personalize your message based on what you learned from their profile.

Dating App Messages: What to Avoid

- Generic greetings without personalization - Overly long messages that feel like essays - Inappropriate or overly forward comments - Compliments focused only on physical appearance - Copy-pasted messages sent to multiple people

First Message Tips for Better Responses

Keep your first message relatively short—a few sentences is usually enough. Make it easy for them to respond by asking a question or sharing something they can comment on.

For more guidance on creating profiles that attract good matches, see our guide on how to write a dating profile. Also check out our online dating safety guide for tips on safe communication.

Additional Resources

Explore more dating guides or browse our best dating apps recommendations to find platforms that match your communication style.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should my first message be?

Aim for 2-4 sentences. Long enough to show you've read their profile and are genuinely interested, but short enough to be easy to respond to. Quality and personalization matter more than length.

Should I use humor in my first message?

If humor comes naturally to you and feels appropriate, it can work well. However, humor is subjective and can be misinterpreted in text. When in doubt, be friendly and genuine rather than trying too hard to be funny.

What if they don't respond to my first message?

Don't take it personally. People have many reasons for not responding, including being busy, not checking the app regularly, or being overwhelmed with messages. Give it time, and don't send follow-up messages immediately.

Is it okay to send the first message if I'm a woman?

Absolutely. There's no rule about who should message first. Many people appreciate when someone takes the initiative, regardless of gender. Send a message if you're interested.

How many first messages should I send per day?

There's no set number, but focus on quality over quantity. Sending a few well-thought-out messages is better than sending many generic ones. Take time to read profiles and craft personalized messages.

Should I mention their photos in my first message?

You can reference photos if it's done respectfully and naturally. Commenting on activities or settings shown in photos often works better than commenting on physical appearance. For example, "That hiking photo looks amazing—where was it taken?" works better than "You're beautiful."

What makes a bad first message?

Generic greetings, overly sexual comments, demands for immediate responses, or messages that show you clearly didn't read their profile are all red flags. Also avoid being negative or complaining about dating in your first message.

Can I use emojis in my first message?

A few emojis can add personality, but don't overdo it. One or two emojis at most, and only if they feel natural to your communication style. When in doubt, skip the emojis for the first message.

Disclaimer

These first message examples and tips are general guidance based on common practices. Response rates and dating success vary significantly based on individual preferences, platform algorithms, timing, location, and many other factors. What works for one person may not work for another, and that's completely normal. Remember to prioritize respectful communication and consent in all interactions. Your dating experience is unique, and there's no guaranteed formula for success.